/wrists

It turns out there's something worse than getting bad xp in a party: getting no xp in a party.

I went seeking on Monk and got a party invitation, but there were no tanks seeking and the leader gave up after about fifteen minutes of looking for one. I'd already used my ring to get to Al Zahbi, so I was a little annoyed. I put up my flag and got another invitation a few minutes later.

It

It feels good to kill something.

was the same situation of not having a tank. I said I didn't mind waiting awhile because it would give me time to make some food. The leader found a willing Paladin, but the guy had to ride the ferry from Mhaura. The schmuck caught the wrong boat and ended up on his way to Selbina. He had to ride back to Mhaura and wait for the other boat. I suggested telling him to fuck off and getting the Paladin I'd partied with the night before -- she had just started seeking in Whitegate -- but the leader didn't go for it.

I wasn't too annoyed because I was hungry and wanted to cook. In the time between the leader saying "I have a tank!" to the Paladin actually arriving in town, I had time to make a huge pot of spaghetti and eat dinner. Browining the ground beef, adding the assorted veggies, meatballs and sauce ingredients, bringing to a boil and letting it simmer, and on top of that boiling a large pot of water for the pasta.

Naturally the chocobo NPC had been taken prisoner and the people without whistles were going to have to walk to the Wajoam Woodlands camp near the leypoint. Some of us started out, only to discover our White Mage had gone afk and showed no signs of coming back.

"They've finally done it," I told the linkshell. "This party has managed to crush my spirit."

"Okay, this is getting stupid," the leader said after repeated whistles to get the White Mage's attention.

"I agree," I said.

"I think I'm done," he said.

"Same here," I said. "It's been too damned long."

We disbanded and washed our hands of the bullshit. It was a dick thing to do, but I didn't care. I'm a glutton for punishment and will stick with bad parties, but going two hours with nothing to show for it is beyond even my powers of self-abuse.

Neyla was partying on Bard and got three levels, finishing the evening at 47. I said I was going to farm my Florid Stone and log out for the night because I was too annoyed for words. "Quitters never win," he clucked at me, but I brushed it off. I was just happy to kill something -- anything! -- even though I didn't get xp for it.

Humbling Experience

Our

Remote detonation of bombs is easy.

daily visit to Ifrit's Cauldron felt a lot shorter today because Neyla and I started killing the bats in the tunnels instead of throwing them at bombs. We're so used to remote detonating bombs with bats and lizards that it took two or three fights before I remembered I could run in and start swinging my axe at the bats without risking being blown into orbit. We didn't have to make as many circuits to reach our quota. Yawawa dinged 63 on the first or second mob, and I was thrilled to see our NPCs are now able to cast Protect IV on us.

I decided to go seeking on Monk to polish off my last remaining shred of self-esteem. Instead of the cricket chirp of universal indifference to my hopes, I scored back-to-back invitations in short order. The first person who asked said they were camped in Kuftal, so I warped back to Windurst to outpost and ride GhostWing out there. All things considered, I probably should've asked the second party about their setup.

It was not a good party. The setup was Paladin, White Mage, Summoner, Blue Mage, Monk and Warrior. The lack of Refresh was bad, although a good White Mage can manage without it. We didn't have a good White Mage. She was sucking pretty hard, and I finally started sending her advice through /tell. I covered some of the basics like using Dia II and Barwatera, letting the Paladin take some damage so they could cure themselves to keep hate, and not wasting MP to Cure people who rarely get hit when you can just throw out a Regen and rest a few ticks. She improved a little over the course of the evening, which gave me hope.

I

Shiva's not so bad when she's on our side.

was afraid to ask if she had Erase, and she surprised me about an hour into the party by finally using it... on herself. For some reason she thought Strength Down was hindering her ability to rest MP. I set her straight on that. "You just end up spamming Erase against crabs so it's not worth it without Refresh," I told her, "but take Strength Down off a melee if you use it at all. Never yourself."

The lack of Dispel was painful, though. Crab buffs can reduce any monk to tears, and hitting for 0 damage and popping off a 40-damage Raging Fists is enough to have them cutting their wrists in the corner with the Dark Knights. Our Blue Mage had a Dispel move but couldn't spam it in a way that would make a difference.

And the Summoner? Wow. Ice Spikes for everyone! It didn't actually paralyze the crabs, but it was there. He finally dinged and switched over to using Carbuncle's Meteorite pact, but it was largely a wasted slot in the party.

Our Warrior and Paladin eventually left, and the rest of us decided to try our luck in Wajoam Woodlands. Two of us didn't have the teleport ring, so we rode the boat out there. It was already in Mhaura when we arrived, and the White Mage didn't make it in time. Not that it mattered, because nobody was seeking in our level range and we needed a tank. I said I'd stick around another thirty minutes for the search and another ninety if we found one. The White Mage asked for permission to bring along a powerleveler; the thought of having a PL at 55 made me queasy, but I didn't object.

We

Colibri are evil... evil... evil...

lucked out and got a Ninja. The other slot went to an elvaan monk. I mentally recoiled in horror at having to compete with an elevaan, but it didn't matter. She checked my gear when I got to camp and sent me a /tell that my stuff made her look like a starving pauper. I examined her gear -- it was craptacular -- and tried to console her by pointing out she wasn't seeing the ungodly amount of time I spent fishing to afford it all.

It turns out that Colibri are a great equalizer. Neither of us could hit them for shit, and using Sushi is out of the question because they have that Snatch Morsel move that steals your food buffs. The Ninja wanted to pull, but she was very slow and I had to constantly say "Pull." It got so bad I finally said "There's a PL here. Don't stop pulling until she screams at you to stop."

People were making the "I've gotta go soon" noises, and I was close enough to getting my level that I convinced them to stay. The other monk had a Corsair replacement on the way, so I was able to disband immediately after the ding to 56. I hate to ding and run, but my time was up.

A slow and hideous climb. I plan to try for 57 tomorrow. Scorpion Harness, here I come.

The Ice Queen Rejoices

I

Magmatic Erucas can kill anything.

still needed those final Limit Points to get my third Merit, so I ran out to Mount Zhayolm to our old stomping grounds at the stone marker. It's slow and excrutiating as a duo, but I was curious to see how it rated as a solo merit camp. Turns out it's not too bad. With Sanction bonuses and Empress Band charge, I was getting 150-250xp per kill, even against Decents.

The Magmatic Erucas make great pets and shred everything. I couldn't get any of them to breathe fire this time, but they could be relied on to use Sticky Thread every fight.

I was out there awhile and had already finished my Merit when Neyla logged on to go NPC leveling in Ifrit's Cauldron. I returned to Windurst and performed my first upgrade to Beast Affinity. I like Ifrit's Cauldron, but it's a place I don't visit alone simply because my monitor is so dark I can't function without Neyla as my Seeing Eye Mithra. Gauldeval dinged 63 before we left; Yawawa was close but didn't quite make it.

After that it was time for Limbus.

We had too many people for one alliance, so we split into two teams of twelve. I was in the crew with Veresko for the second floor of Temenos Central. It's the zone with the elementals and corresponding Mystic Avatars, with Carbuncle as the final boss.

Veresko

Shiva gives us lots of problems.

said he'd messed up the pull order. I don't know if that's true, but we ended up fighting Titan. My party was fine, but his 2-hour flattened the other guys. Shiva was the absolute worst, though. Her sleepga has a very wide range and we didn't think to bring Poison Potions for it. She drilled Eormanric into the ground -- from full-health Ninja with buffs and shadows to dead -- and started picking us off. Diamond Dust was extremely unpleasant.

We killed her and recovered, but we didn't win. We went after Carbuncle and managed to kill him, but we ran out time while trying to take down the two Light Elementals.

Meanwhile, Quieren's alliance was farming Temenos West and got screwed out of time extensions. Everyone got two Ancient Beastcoins, which starts my long crawl toward a Loquacious Earring.

Prime Numbers

A

We should farm a skull for Wulfgar.

tarutaru named Nanten posted on QCDN seeking help with avatar fights for Summoner. Neyla and I volunteered, and I checked my key items when I logged on to see which tuning forks I needed. I didn't have Garuda, and I hadn't turned in my Ifrit's whisper. I hit Rabao first and then flew out to Kazham, where the mithra complained bitterly about my stench from the Opo-Opo Crown quest. I really need to do that quest that removes the odor.

We didn't know when Nanten would need us and didn't have anything else to do, so we decided to level our NPCs in Ifrit's Cauldron awhile. We seriously need to take Wulfgar along sometime, because he needs a Wyvern Skull and we got one in the first ten minutes... although I'm sure it would take three hours if we actually needed one.

Gauldeval and Yawawa got close to 63 but didn't ding. I'm going to be kinda bummed when they hit 65 and there's nothing else to do with them. I carry my Signal Pearl all the time, but almost never use it except to level the NPC.

Nanten (SAM), Mishaela (WHM) and Nexneco (WHM) were planning to do Garuda next, so we traveled out to Cape Teriggan to meet them. Neyla switched over to Red Mage, but I stayed on Beastmaster because I wanted to see how much damage CourierCarrie would put out. Neyla forgot to get the tuning fork and had to return to Rabao while I worked my way past all those manticores and somehow managed to reach the cloister on the first try.

The

Bird Lady doesn't like seafood.

fight was easy, and Carrie did nice damage. She even used Big Scissors, which doesn't happen nearly enough for my tastes. I also wanted to see if Garuda's Astral Flow move would flatten me, but mostly it just stripped off my Stoneskin and left me unscathed.

Wulfgar, embracing his new life as a Summoner, is needing some of the fights so he can get Fenrir. Ramuh was on the list, so we asked him if he could tank Ramuh. Mishaela had to leave, but Nexneco tagged along to Boyahda Tree so I could stay on Beastmaster.

Neyla was wary of the damage Ramuh's lightning-based moves would do to a crab pet, but it wasn't a problem. Thunderspark paralyzed Wulfgar a few times and got me once, but Carrie was unaffected. Even Judgment Bolt was weak sauce compared to what we were expecting. As with Garuda, the Astral Flow stripped off my Stoneskin but didn't do much beyond that.

The entire time this was going on, I was keeping track of the Besieged map and the impending invasion of Al Zahbi by the Undead Swarm. We finished the fight with plenty of time to ride out there and wait for Besieged to start. Quieren joined us.

"Damn

Bring it, old man!

it," he growled when the invasion started. "You didn't say it was the fucking Undead Swarm."

"You didn't ask," I laughed.

Of the three armies, they tend to be the biggest pain in the ass. Neyla stayed on Red Mage and kept us cured and buffed. Deaths were minimal, and I was happy to learn the Qutrub monsters are brittle like balsa wood gliders.

I'm only 700 points from being able to do my first Beast Affinity upgrade. I plan to get it tomorrow before Limbus.

Carby Mitts

Wulfgar is taking this Summoner thing seriously, and at some point last week he was asking how to get the offering for Carbuncle Mitts. Today seemed like a good day to kill the NM in the Temple of Uggalepih. Neyla, Apu, Leprivian, Wulfgar and I headed for the jungle.

We'd

Searing Light wasn't so bad this time...

forgotten about needing a Prelate Key to get back there, so we went into the Den of Rancor to farm one. I got us through the paintbrush door (Neyla had forgotten how it worked) and we tracked down some tonberries. Quarters were close. I mostly stayed in the back and acted as healer, but I unsheathed my Morgenstern a few times.

We cleared the room and I told Wulgar to trade his offering. I wasn't sure if we had enough people to kill the NM -- every time I've done the run there were a lot more people -- but it went okay. He's got a lot of hit points, but he's still a squishy Summoner.

I remember the other times I've done it, and Searing Light was such a pain in the ass. This time most of the damage came from Throat Stab. I had a bad moment when my macro bank slipped while I was trying to use Cure V on Wulf. We killed it and Wulf got his Mitts and a Light Spirit Pact. He offered to sell it and split the gil, but I told him he may as well use it since he's a Summoner.

The Big Game

The shadow of the Super Bowl loomed over everything today. I hate this day because everyone gets so absorbed in it and I just don't care. I'd have to think hard to just tell you which teams were playing.

Today

Proto-Omega is not in a good mood today.

was our fight against Proto-Omega. Quieren announced that we wouldn't be farming anymore zones until the set was used, which made me wonder if he'd have been willing to throw it away on a wasted shot if only ten people turned up because of NFL hysteria. We had a full roster, though.

The fight was rough. It started out strong, but we started losing control. Tanks started dying and MP was getting low, and eventually it was a holding action just keeping everyone on their feet. Omega stayed at around a quarter of his health for a long time and was getting it back through Regen, but eventually he popped a gunpod we couldn't take down and we wiped with only a few minutes on the clock.

I picked up my Beast Gaiters +1 in Port Jeuno before we left. They're nifty, and I can't wait to put them to use.

Apu asked if we were still doing "Test Your Mite" because of the game, and I told him we were. He had a Super Bowl party to attend but said he could be fashionably late. That got nixed when he was told to get the keg, so I let him off the hook and told him not to worry about it. For all I knew, Hadafal and Wulfgar wouldn't be coming either.

It

Wulfgar and I kill Pasuk.

turns out Hada and Wulf were ready, so we gathered a little early and headed in. Neyla was on Bard and decided to Sleep the aggro mobs on the way through Pso'xja, but they didn't wait for me to zone in and I had to use a Sneak Oil; it was less hassle, but the mobs started waking and casting -ga spells as I ran past.

Hadafal was horrified to discover he'd forgotten to turn in his Florid Stone. Four of us were already in the battlefield. We went after Pasuk. The fight was a little slower with only a Ninja and Monk, but we wore him down and I popped off Hundred Fists near the end to finish him off. I dinged 55 and Neyla hit 44 on Bard.

Neyla, Wulf and I did the necropolis escort after that and headed of to San d'Oria to claim our xp scrolls. Wulf noticed the Mamool Ja were advancing on Al Zahbi, so it was ring-and-whistle time to book it to town and get in on the action. I've never seen the mobs marching on the city before, and it was freaky. They run as fast as chocobos.

Wulf

Neyla and I slice up a War Wyvern during Besieged.

is leveling Summoner and decided to get some ghetto xp in Besieged by throwing out Cure spells and doing his best to stay alive despite being in the 20s. I started thinking it could be a fun way to get some Summoner xp myself, but I like getting the limit points too much to go that route.

I couldn't escape the Super Bowl in Besieged. People were shouting score updates. I wanted to shout false info, but that's hard to fake when you don't know what's going on.

We fought off the invasion and warped back to Windurst to eat our scrolls and log out.